IELTS Band 9 essay on employment

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

NOTE – the following contains two sample essays from a recent real IELTS Academic exam. The first essay is written using vocabulary that an average IELTS test-taker should know and gives some tips on structure, vocabulary, task response, and grammar. The second essay is written at a Band 9 level and contains advanced grammar and vocabulary. Both essays are written with a similar structure.

SAMPLE ESSAY ONE (Basic)

When hiring a new employee, their qualifications and experience are often said to be the most important. However, some believe that more focus should be given to their personality. From my perspective, it seems that qualifications and experience are important, but positive personal qualities require more attention.

COMMENTS – (1) think of some synonyms for words you will repeat e.g. “pay attention” –> “focus”, “recruiting” –> “hiring” (2) Make sure you present both sides and say to what extent you agree or disagree in the introduction (3) If you “kind of agree/disagree”, then you can mention each side, which will make it easier to write your essay.

To begin with, having suitable qualifications and experience are necessary because it shows that a person knows about the job and can perform it. Many jobs require a person to have advanced knowledge of a certain area and also a long time working in that field so that they will not make any errors that might lead to disastrous results, like lawsuits or even death. No one would go to a doctor to a lawyer who did not have some kind of degree in medicine or law, for instance.

COMMENTS – (1) Begin your body paragraph with a linking phrase like, “To begin with…” (2) Try to make your main idea clear e.g. “it shows a person knows about their job and can perform it” (3) Explain your main idea e.g “Many jobs require…” (3) Try to include an example e.g. “…for instance” (4) Keep aiming for synonyms if you can e.g. “area” vs. “field” (5) Try to add some topic-specific vocabulary if you can e.g “lawsuits” “degree”

However, although qualifications and experience can be the most important things, they can be less relevant if an employee has negative personal qualities. Many jobs require people to work in an office space nearby to many other people, and if someone causes problems because of their personality or attitude, it can affect other people’s work and the performance of the company. For example, I have a friend who is quite smart, but is really lazy, so I think if he was hired for a job, he could do it, but he would be too lazy and other colleagues would have to do his work for him, which would lead to bad feelings in the workplace.

COMMENTS – (1) Link your next paragraph with a suitable word or phrase e.g “However”, “Nevetheless”, etc. (2) Keep adding some topic-specific words if you can e.g. “colleagues” “the workplace” (3) Include an example from your experience (or make one up!)

Overall, I believe that a perfect employee has good qualification, experience, and personal characteristics. Employers should look at person’s qualifications and experience first, and then look at their personality to see if they will be more trouble than they are worth. (292 words)

COMMENTS – (1) Make sure your conclusion matches your view in the introduction and the ideas you included in your body (2) Paraphrase the ideas in the body to create your overall opinion (3) Try to finish with a memorable last sentence.

SAMPLE ESSAY TWO (Band 9)

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

During the recruitment process, employers often focus on an applicant’s relevant qualifications and experience and give less attention to their personal characteristics. While being well-qualified and having the requisite experience is important, or even essential, for some jobs, personality factors should be given more consideration.

It is undeniable that in some fields relevant qualifications and experience are crucial to performing a job. A patient who needed a life-saving operation or a defendant falsely charged with murder would both like to have a competent doctor or a talented lawyer to help them with their respective problems. Even if the particular doctor or lawyer did not possess desirable personal qualities, they would still be valued for their ability to perform highly-skilled tasks.

Nevertheless, outside the realm of specialists, it would seem that personality should be given greater attention. In an office environment, most people can get on-the-job training and do not necessarily need an advanced degree or extensive experience to perform their duties. Instead, what is more important is their ability to work as a team with their co-workers and avoid workplace disputes. In this case, it would make more sense to hire the sociable person who needs extra training rather than the skilled worker who is unpleasant to be around.

Broadly speaking, the key requirements for requiring new staff will depend on the job in question. In some fields, personality has to play second fiddle to competence, but in many if not most jobs, it is the ability to interact well with other employees that is the most important criterion when hiring new staff. (263 words)

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