When to walk away from a long-term relationship

Relationships are hard. You are put in a position where you have to seek compromise on some days and stand up for yourself the next. Relationships are built on communication and trust, though some tend to have none of that from the start. Chances are that you have seen bad relationships among your friends and coworkers, the ones where you can call the break up from a thousand miles away. But now you find yourself in a position that is foreign territory. Something is wrong, and you are wondering, “How do I know when to walk away from a relationship?” Are there red flags to look out for?

Knowing when to walk away is important because staying could be too much of a compromise.

Signs It Is Time To Walk Away From A Relationship

Relationships are made up of unique people coming together. You should not expect to agree on everything—it’s healthier if you don’t. You also should not be arguing and disagreeing every two seconds. A healthy relationship is full of love for the other person and yourself. If there is a lack of love and chemistry, there is a possibility that you two should walk away from one another.

Aside from that, here are some things to look out for:

1. You Compromise Your Personal Happiness

You have heard it before: “Love requires compromise.” Yes, that is true. But the compromise should be on what kind of new car to buy for your family, not your personal goals and happiness. You should not suffer just to feel love or to be loved. If you end up cutting out those activities you enjoy or losing contact with other people you care about, something is wrong.

A healthy relationship is one that inspires us to be more. To grow and evolve. A relationship that is meant to last will be the one where you lay down personal boundaries and maintain them. Your caring partner will understand.

2. Physical Intimacy Is A Chore

Humans have varying levels of desire when it comes to sexual intimacy and exploration. Yet, if you feel that sex with your partner feels as humdrum and dry as folding laundry, you should start asking why. Sex matters. Sex is necessary to ground the relationship. So if you end up passing on sex or feeling like you are doing it just to appease your partner, consider it a red flag. Maybe you two are not compatible. Maybe something is mucking up the chemistry between you both.

Talking to a couple or sex therapist could help with this, particularly if one of you is carrying the weight of a traumatic experience. However, if therapy does not help (or your partner flat-out refuses to attend), you may have to walk away.

3. You Feel Lost In The Relationship

Have you woken up one morning beside your partner and thought, “I don’t like who I am right now”? One of the things that people often get wrong about love is the need to change in order to be a good match for your partner. This form of thinking is incorrect. You should be loved for who you are—flaws and all. Change, if it does happen, should be something you actively want to do for yourself, not for the other individual. As such, any relationship that leaves you feeling lost and alone, and sad all the time is not a relationship to maintain.

4. You Are Not Respected

Does your significant other respect you? They should. Zero respect in a relationship is a sign that your partner does not care about you or your needs. They will actively cross your boundaries and try things that you have already declined to do. Additionally, a lack of respect may lead your partner to engage in affairs and other risky behaviors. When respect goes out the door, the alarm bells should be ringing in your head.

5. Trust Is Off The Table

What makes a relationship work in the long term? Trust. Relationships cannot function if there is deceit. For example, if you have caught your partner being unfaithful, and they continue to make you nervous by hiding what they do after work or being dishonest about who is messaging them at 2 AM in the morning, it may be better to walk away from the relationship.

If the trust between you has been broken but you do not want to end the relationship, it is important that you seek counseling immediately. Couples Academy can help you and your partner reach an understanding and assist with making the changes necessary to rebuild trust. If your partner is unwilling to try counseling, the struggles are bound to continue.

6. You Are The Only One Making An Effort

When you are the only one in the relationship putting in the work, such as setting up dates, sacrificing personal time for your partner, and initiating sex, it could be a sign that they are selfish and narcissistic. Perhaps they try to gaslight you and tell you that they are doing their part. Maybe they blame their distance on work or being tired.

Relationships are a transaction between two people. There should be a balance between how much you both give and take. If you feel the relationship is one-sided, that you need to constantly demand their time and affection, it could be a sign that you need to walk away. Again, couples counseling could help with whatever is happening, be it communication issues or something else. However, your significant other must meet you halfway and join you in the counseling sessions.

In order for the relationship to thrive, you both need to put in the work!

Get Stronger Together With Couples Academy

How do you know when to walk away from a relationship? When it no longer feels right. In your gut, you will know that something is off. Perhaps your partner feels distant. Maybe you no longer trust them. Regardless of the reason, you are no longer happy or whole. However, there is hope. If you and your partner do not want to end the relationship, consider attending couples therapy. Together with the experienced counselors from Couples Academy, you can learn effective communication skills and get to the bottom of the issues causing your relationship to go stale. Rekindle intimacy. Build a stronger connection together.

Get in touch with Couples Academy today to learn more about our programs.

Imagine being with someone for a long time, here we’re talking about years. The time comes where everyone around you is expecting you to get hitched already…but when you think about it, you realize they’re no sparks, no attraction, no dreams of you that include your partner. This is the reality of many relationships where people actually grow apart.

So how do you tell yourself to walk away from the person you practically grew with for profound years of your life, without analyzing your chances of regrets later on?

Walking away from love is tough. But when there are enough signs to walk away from a relationship, you probably should! Of course, it will cause heartache for you both. It takes guts to give up on a relationship you were committed to. But, are you the only one putting in the effort, trust, understanding, and respect? That is not the way to keep your relationship alive. Reciprocation is a must. If not, it is time to fix the relationship or call it quits. Check out the 15 signs to determine if you should walk away from a relationship. Scroll down!

“You can love them, forgive them, want good things for them…but still move on without them.” – Mandy Hale

Yes, it is okay to move on from a relationship for happiness and mental peace. Arguments and sweet fights in any relationship are common. It helps convey your opinions, views, and concerns to your partner. It is quite normal to have ups and downs in any relationship. However, this remains healthy only if there’s respect, devotion, commitment, and understanding between you both. Even after putting in all your efforts and valuable time, it feels disheartening if your partner fails to understand you.

If you are in a dilemma about whether to walk away or continue with your relationship, these 15 signs can help you.

When To Walk Away From A Relationship?

1. If You Feel Respect Is Not Served Anymore

Respect is the foundation of any relationship. Respecting each other’s opinions, decisions, and goals makes a relationship healthy. Understanding the concerns of both parties and respecting them forges stronger connections. If you are not getting respect from your partner, reconsider your future together. Crossing the limits you are not comfortable with and not valuing your decisions is a red flag.

2. There Is Abuse In Your Relationship

The scars you cannot see are the hardest to heal. Abuse in a relationship impacts mental peace, physical well-being, self-esteem, and confidence levels. Sometimes it also leads to depression. Physical abuse is not the only kind of abuse you should be worried about. It can be of any form, like sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse. Abusive relationships cannot and should not be saved. If you find your partner abusive, walk away from your relationship immediately.

3. They Have Cheated You

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you” – Unknown

There is no other feeling that is as painful as being cheated by your partner. It leads to distrust and insecurity. And, without mutual understanding and faith, relationships will not last long. If your partner is not ready to accept the mistakes and not showing any regret, it is time to walk away from the relationship.

A committed and responsible individual is dependable. Taking responsibility generates trust and eventually builds a strong, honest bond. Partners should have a mutual understanding and owe equal responsibilities to each other. If you are the only one taking all the responsibilities every time, it is time to move on.

5. You Cannot See The Future With Your Partner

While gazing into your partner’s eyes, you ought to be able to see infinite love, dreams, and plans for your future. As couples, you both must have some shared goals. If you are unable to foresee any of them with your partner, rethink your relationship. One should put sincere effort into making the relationship work and help achieve each other’s dreams. If your partner does not show it, take a deep breath and move on for the better.

6. There Is No Trust

“I trust you is a better compliment than I love you because you may not always trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust.” – Unknown

Trust is the basis for a successful, strong, and healthy relationship. It provides positive energy, reassurance, and the power to overcome obstacles. Without trust, you cannot feel safe and connected with your partner. The words and actions of your partner should reflect devotion, commitment, and loyalty. If that is not the case, walk away from your relationship.

7. The Channel To Communicate With Your Partner Is Closed

Proper communication is crucial for a strong and healthy relationship. Without meaningful conversations, there is scope for misunderstandings. Healthy communication brings transparency and helps tackle these issues. Your relationship might not survive if your partner does not show interest in communicating. This gap is an alarming sign that you might need to walk away.

8. When You Don’t Find Space

Giving each other some space lets you pursue your hobbies, process thoughts, and work on your interests. If your partner does not respect your personal space, you should think about it. Respecting each other’s opinions, goals, and helping them achieve their dreams is a sign of a healthy relationship. If you are not finding any of these in your relationship, move out of it.

9. You Are The Only One Making Compromises And Sacrifices

Relationships can work only if both parties are willing to sacrifice for each other. Making small sacrifices, adjustments, and compromises are common in a relationship. Couples should know the skill of getting things done without hurting others. But if you are the one who is making all sacrifices, rethink your relationship.

10. Your Partner Is Immature

An emotionally immature person can never understand your feelings. The lack of ability to understand the emotions of their partner may often lead to arguments. Being in a relationship with an immature person makes life unpredictable. You might face commitment issues and silly disagreements. They might not consider things seriously and avoid meaningful conversation. If such is the case, rethink staying in a relationship.

11. When Your Opinion Does Not Matter

A partner who loves you and values you will ask your opinion on things that matter. If your partner takes you for granted every time, it is unfair, and you might feel left out in the relationship. When your opinion is not respected, it implies that your partner does not care about you. If your partner is unwilling to address these issues, walk away from the relationship.

12. When You Face Body Shaming

If your partner pays more attention to your looks and does not accept the way you are, it is abusive and shows his emotional immaturity. Constant criticism about looks and appearance can seriously affect one’s self-esteem and confidence. If your partner does the same now and then without any regret, it might be the right time for you to walk away from the relationship.

13. When You Feel Totally Alone

“Being alone is scary, but not as scary as feeling alone in a relationship.” – Amelia Earhart

Relationships are built upon understanding and affection between partners. When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel lonely, left out, unheard, anxious, and disconnected. Talk with him about how you are feeling with his constant ignorance. If he continues to do the same, walk away from your relationship.

As much as it is important to know when and how you connect with a person, it is also important to be aware of the signs of walking away from a relationship. Respect, care, and trust are important to keep a relationship going. If you feel alone, left out, disrespected, or abused in the relationship, it is time to reevaluate your relationship. You may discuss the issues with your partner and try to improve the bond. However, if nothing works out, it is better to part ways. Relationships are tough to maintain and involve a lot of ups and downs. However, if it turns toxic, it is better to move on.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does walking away from a relationship work?

Yes, walking away from a relationship that is toxic and makes you unhappy is the best way to find peace and happiness for yourself.

Why is walking away so powerful?

While walking away is not easy, it can bring a sense of relief, confidence, and power. Walking away from a toxic relationship takes a lot of courage, strength, and faith in yourself. Doing so is an act of love and respect for yourself.

Arguments are quite common in any relationship, and they help you understand your partner better.
But if your partner fails to understand you even after you have put in a lot of effort and time, then it is time to rethink your relationship.
If your partner does not respect you or has started abusing you, these are some big signs that you should walk away from the relationship.

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Joy Nwokoro is a Christian relationship and marriage speaker, counselor, and coach. Although she studied English and Literature at the... more