When parents feel heard by teachers, they

Schools take a variety of creative approaches to involve parents in their child’s learning, from parent-student cooking classes to sending tweets about lesson activities.

We recently ran a live chat for teachers, heads, academics and parents to share their ideas on how to break down barriers, reach those who were reluctant to engage and ensure parents and carers feel that their voices are heard. Here’s a roundup of their suggestions:

Schools must take the lead and be as flexible as possible. For me that should include, where necessary, a block of time during the school term where teachers and parents are brought together. Having two opportunities a year for parents to sit with a teacher for 45 minutes has been very well received at my school. It’s time for a real and focused conversation about the child, with both sides listening. Yes, teachers listening too. Parents now say they are feeling listened to, and all the technology in the world cannot replace this. It’s a big job for schools to make this work logistically, but it’s so valuable.

• Simon Feasey, headteacher at Bader primary school
  

One nice thing the secondary teachers [at my son’s school] do is send a stamped postcard home when my son does a good piece of homework. I may be a techie, but I actually quite like that old-fashioned touch, and it goes up on the kitchen noticeboard and becomes a talking point.

• Tes Macpherson is a tech entrepreneur who set up the parent communication platform PTAsocial
  

I’ve been in more than one school where staff have said how many helpful ideas parents had given them, while parents said that staff never listened. School staff were listening, but they weren’t closing the feedback loop and letting parents know that their ideas had been taken on board.

• Janet Goodall, a lecturer with particular expertise in parental engagement at the University of Bath
  

I’ve found through focus group interviews with parents that most are keen to support their child’s learning, but they seek comfort in doing so. Methods in maths is a common talking point. A simple video modelling an approach created by the class teacher or a pupil and uploaded on to the learning platform (with parents given access) can secure engagement.

One thing I advocate a lot is having events away from school if at all possible. One headteacher did the beginning of the year speech for new parents not at school, but at places parents were already comfortable in. I know of schools that have done things like getting the manager of the local football team to give an address at a parents’ evening – it got a lot of dads in.

My feeling is that sites like Facebook and Twitter have done a lot to allow schools to openly broadcast the great things they are doing, but at a fairly generic level (nothing too tailored to any given parent or student). For me the next step is to use technology to enable the more meaningful-level communications, securely, and on a regular basis.

• James Whitaker is the founder and chief executive of ParentHub
  

Five of the best apps that help teachers communicate with parents

We run blogs for every year group and on specific areas (such as visible learning), and I keep a headteacher’s blog. As well as covering the curriculum and learning activities, we blog when out and about. The year 5 ski trip and year 4 residential trip to France blogs were very well received. Parents responded regularly so there was actually a dialogue between them and the children, even though they were hundreds of miles apart.

A few years ago, I did some research with parents where they chose one thing to work on with their child. For some, it was getting out of the house on time, for others it was a specific school subject. They did this for a term and then reported back. It was great talking to the parents – they felt that they’d taken control of something and dealt with it.

One school I worked with – in a community where most parents didn’t have computers at home – arranged with the local supermarket to put a computer in the foyer, with videos of classrooms on a loop. Whole families apparently came in to see what was happening. That might be something that could be adapted. I keep thinking about all the digital displays I increasingly see.

At the last school I worked at, there was a massive drive to improve children’s writing. In order to give pupils more purpose to what they were producing, we invited parents with different jobs into the school to talk about what they did, and more importantly, explain why writing was important to their role. About 40 ended up taking part, ranging from submarine engineers to scientists.

• Ben Culverhouse, a Year 5 teacher at High Down junior school in Portishead
  

I was talking to a fairly new teacher not too long ago and she’d phoned a parent and simply said, “I’m worried about [name]. You know your child far better than I, what can I do to help?” It was a bit of a breakthrough because the teacher was reversing the usual structure and asking the parent for information and knowledge.

There are many great ways to wrap up the school year, but dealing with difficult parents isn't one of them.

Most of your students will finish up the year and move on to the next grade. If you hear from their parents at all, it might be a thank-you card. And, if you're lucky, it might even include a gift card to a local restaurant. But some parents may not feel so kindly toward their child's teacher as the year winds down. Perhaps their child failed a final exam and needs to go to summer school, or maybe their child struggled throughout the year and you recommended testing to determine if they have a learning disability. Or, maybe their child missed a lot of instruction, and you think they need to repeat the year.

Whatever the issue, you're probably not looking forward to dealing with difficult parents at this point. But there are plenty of ways to defuse the situation, keep your cool, and even help parents come to an understanding about their child's progress.

1. No Surprises

This is probably the most important thing to keep in mind throughout the year: Make sure you keep parents apprised of any issues. If you think a student has learning problems and should be tested, don't wait until the entire year has passed before suggesting it. You can often avoid problems at the end of the year if parents have already been made aware of your concerns.

But even for teachers who've done a great job of keeping parents on board, some parents will "forget" that they've been informed of any problems at the end of the year. In these cases, it's important to keep a record of emails, phone calls, or other conversations you've had regarding the student's issues throughout the year.

2. Meet Face-to-Face with Parents

Invite them in to meet with you rather than trying to resolve a problem over the phone or email. That way, you can show them samples of their child's work or records of attendance. You can also share evidence of the times you discussed the issue with them. In the end, it's usually easier for angry parents to say unpleasant things electronically than in person.

Further reading: Mastering the Parent-Teacher Meeting

3. Alert Your Principal or Department Chair to the Situation

If the parents have already called to complain, the principal may want to sit in on the meeting. If not, she may want to be available if the issue can't be resolved between you and the parents.

4. Listen and Ask Questions

Shake hands with the parents who come to meet with you and ask them to explain what they're unhappy about. Wait until they finish, and don't interrupt unless you're asking for clarification.

5. Try to Find Things You Agree On

Make sure parents understand that, as the child's teacher, you'd like to see him do better, too. Be clear that your role is not to punish the child at the end of the year for not studying, not handing in work, or being absent. Your role is to figure out how to make their child more successful in the future.

6. Don't Allow Yourself to Be Pressured

A few parents may ask a teacher to change a grade or move their child forward even if he or she hasn't fulfilled the requirements. You, of course, have to adhere to your professional ethics—and you don't want the reputation of someone who can be manipulated by parents. If they want to, parents always have the option to escalate the problem to the principal.

Further reading: Positive Parent-Teacher Communication

7. Know When the Conversation Is Over

In my experience, once most difficult parents have expressed their unhappiness or anger, you can all can move on to find a workable solution together. Unfortunately, this is not the case with all parents. It's fine for parents to be angry, but it isn't OK for them to be abusive. If that happens and it's clear you're not going to agree, it's time to bring the conversation to a close. They may decide to take their complaint to the principal, and that's fine. That's how the system works.

During your career, you'll have many meetings with parents. Most of them will be easy, gratifying, and pleasant—but a handful won't be. Knowing how to deal with difficult parents should be part of every teacher's skill set, so you can keep your cool while working to find a resolution that's in the student's best interests.