Friendships By Meagan McCrary Meagan McCrary, E-RYT 500, is a yoga teacher and author of Pick Your Yoga Practice: Exploring and Understanding Different Styles of Yoga. Kristina Hallett, Ph.D., ABPP Board-certified Clinical Psychologist Kristina Hallett, Ph.D., ABPP is a board-certified clinical psychologist with a background in neuroscience. She is also the Director of Clinical Training at Bay Path University, and an associate professor in Graduate Psychology. Last updated on March 1, 2020 Sometimes when someone shares what they're going through, they aren't asking for you to make it better. For whatever reason, just telling someone makes us feel a little less desolate. It's human nature to want to share, to have someone who hears us, who understands, who can sympathize with what we're going through. We want to know that we are not alone. We want someone to acknowledge how badly we are hurting and allow us to be just as we are without needing or expecting us to feel better. We don't want someone to fix our sadness. For the most part, people genuinely want to help. They don't want to see you suffering. And because they don't want to see you suffering, they offer advice, clichéd proverbs, pep talks, or distractions. Many are uncomfortable with pain and sadness and haven't been taught how to respond truly compassionately to other people's suffering. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Very few of us are capable of jumping right in and objectively looking at our painful situations. Before we can listen to advice or even hear that everything will be OK, we must be acknowledged. We need a little time to just feel hurt without having to get over it or do something about it right away. Simply hearing someone say, "I understand" can mean so much to a person who's suffering. The list included here contains all-too-common responses someone might give in the face of someone's suffering or conflict. Chances are you've heard them, or have even said them, before. Save them for later in the conversation when you feel that the person you are comforting seems ready to move on from their hurt.
This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Instead of jumping to a solution or a call to action, you'll likely be a much better supporter if you do one of the following. Hearing these compassionate, empathetic responses can make someone feel less alone:
This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Sometimes it's best to let someone have their space and time to feel their pain rather than immediately attempting to solve the issue or move on. People need space to feel their emotions, and it is a vital part of moving forward. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. © 2009 - 2022 MindBodyGreen LLC. All rights reserved. |