When a guy doesn T respond to an emotional text

If you’re reading this – you’re probably really frustrated because a guy you like isn’t texting you back, so I’m going to get straight to the point.

When guys say they “like” texting more than talking on the phone, the real reason why is because it’s easier to ignore a text message than it is to avoid a phone call. (It’s also part of the reason why guys don’t call back.)

I’m not saying that to be mean – I’m just trying to give you clear insight into what’s going on in his head.

Of course, there could be a million reasons why he doesn’t answer a text. I can tell you off the top of my head that there are a few common reasons why I don’t text back right away:

Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out why he’s not texting you back…

1. I wasn’t really interested in talking to her

2. I was busy at the moment

3. I was working and couldn’t look at my phone

4. I was watching sports or a movie or tv or something

5. If my phone was dead

6. I was with another girl (obviously – if I’m exclusive with someone this doesn’t apply, but if I’m just casually seeing someone then this is fair game)

7. If I didn’t have my phone on me

8. Her texts were becoming a “drain” on me and I didn’t want to feed into it

Let me explain what I mean by texts being a “drain” and how it can apply equally to both men and women.

The truth is that people don’t feel good in relationships where the other person is a drain on them.

Humans are attracted to relationships that feel good, fun, and light. Relationships that don’t burden them.

I’ll give you an example.

Have you ever had a friend who seems like they’re never happy and everything out of their mouth is a complaint?

And then they dump all that crap on you – and burden you by making it your responsibility to cheer them up and make them feel better?

These are the people you avoid in your life – because on top of you having to take care of yourself, now you have to spend your energy and effort trying to prop them up and support them too.

This is why interacting with some people feels positive – while being around other people feels negative.

When you’re with a positive person, it feels like they’re charging your batteries. They make you feel energized, happy, and, well, positive after hanging out with them!

By contrast, negative people feel like they drain your battery of charge every time you hang out with them. You feel tired, worn-out, and even depressed after hanging out. I like to call these people “Battery Drainers”.

If you want to be in a relationship where the guy is actively charging your batteries, you need to be a person that charges his.

And if you’re the kind of person who thinks, “He should want to text me back because he knows it will make me happy!” take a second and look at the converse of that statement – “If he doesn’t text me back, I won’t be happy.”

What’s going on here is: you’re making it his burden to text you back so that you’re happy – you’re making him responsible for your happiness and your emotional state,which turns him off. You’re draining his battery.

Think of it this way, why would you want him to feel pressured to text you back – like it’s a chore he has to do to make you happy? Wouldn’t you rather him genuinely want to text you back because he likes talking to you?

So that begs the question: what types of text messages do guys like to respond to?

Men like to get messages that come from a positive place and come out of a good vibe. If your vibe is good, any text you send him is going to have a good vibe attached to it. If you’re feeling worried, or angry, or insecure, or desperate – the text will stink of that negative vibe. So if he didn’t text you back, the best thing to do is to try to relax, let it go, and do things you like to do to get into a good mood before you text him again.

And listen carefully, because I’m not saying you should be “fake” around him. This isn’t about faking a good mood or faking your emotions – you should always stay 100% true to how you’re really feeling.

This is because your vibe is 100% determined by your mood – and it can’t be faked. However you’re truly feeling in the privacy of your own mind is your mood – and that will express itself through your vibe.

So how do you have a good vibe? You make sure you’re in a genuinely good mood.

As long as your text is giving off a good vibe to him, it doesn’t even really matter what it says! (And it always helps to know what to text him to start a conversation.) All that matters is that your vibe was good when you sent it, and he’ll be more likely to answer it.

Bottom line – if it feels light, carefree, fun, and most importantly, positive – he’ll want to text you back.

This is what I mean by charging his battery – a good vibe will charge his battery just like a negative vibe will drain it.

So don’t worry about the specifics of what you text him. Instead, focus on being a positive person in his life– and he will naturally want to respond to your texts.

Now, at this point, I know some women might say, “Oh, so I’m supposed to sit here and do everything for him and he gets to do whatever he wants, is that it!?!” I want to respond to that right away.

First off – I’m not trying to tell you what you want to hear – I’m giving you the most effective path to success.

This is about getting you the results you want – not changing reality into something you think “should” be happening.

You can live your life wishing something was true – but if it doesn’t line up with reality then at the end of the day you won’t be happy – because you’ll have been chasing an illusion.

I don’t indulge illusions – I live in the real world and I’m going to show you what actually works so that I can help you.

Finally, always remember this: if you’re not happy in the situation you’re in, realize that it’s a choice to engage with it on a daily basis.

If you aren’t happy with a situation, you do have the choice to walk away. You’re always in control of that decision.

But if you don’t want to walk away – if you are choosing to stay – then it makes sense to do the things that will get you the results you want.

So charge his battery, focus on your vibe, and everything else will fall into place. And if it doesn’t – then at least you know that it wasn’t the right match – and you don’t have to waste your time on a dead end… giving you the freedom to find the right guy for you.

I hope this article helped you understand what to do when a guy doesn’t text back. Your vibe is so important in situations like this, and I get a ton of questions about it, but one thing to remember is that a lot of the time you might be doing or saying things to him that are actually making him lose interest and pull away without even realizing it. If he isn’t texting you back he’s probably distancing himself from you and pulling away so I highly suggest you read this right now before it might be too late: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Want to find out why he didn’t text you back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out why he’s not texting you back…

Take The Quiz: Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?

Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?Take the Quiz

If you’re in a relationship, you may be texting each other all day, and you may enjoy the attention your guy lavishes on you. You think you’ve finally met “the man of your dreams”, but then he goes cold. You text him first thing in the morning, but he doesn’t text you back. You text him again, and there is still no response. You’re now concerned that something horrible has occurred. You send him a panicked message, wondering whether everything is okay, and he responds with a monosyllable “Yes.” You may be wondering why, if he was alright, he hadn’t responded to your prior texts. You soon determine by reading between the lines that either you did something that irritated him, or he has lost interest in you. As a delay in a response might rob you of your peace of mind, the list of assumptions can go on and on. In this post, we bring you some plausible reasons why he didn’t respond, as well as some helpful hints on what to do if he doesn’t text back.

13 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Text You Back

Don’t tire yourself by wondering why he didn’t text you back. It could be due to any of the following reasons.

1. He must be busy

Initially, when trying to woo you, he might have replied to your texts even in his sleep or even when in a serious business meeting. But once he feels your relationship is on sure footing, he will relax and message you whenever he is free or whenever he remembers, so he can concentrate on the work at hand.

2. He may be emotionally drained

We all prefer being in the company of people who make us feel happy and positive. If you are someone who constantly whines and complains about life, he might drift away from you. Talking to you may be like a chore he doesn’t like doing.

3. He might have felt offended

Written communication is complicated because you may type your text in one tone, but he may read it in another context. Perhaps he has decided to keep away from you because something you wrote in your last conversation did not go down well with him. Have a look at what you last spoke about and see if you have unintentionally offended him.

4. He is under the impression that you are not into him

We often enjoy being pursued to see how much we mean to someone. You must have acted this way, and while it must have excited him initially, it wore him down eventually. It might have led him to believe that you are not into him.

5. He lacks the confidence to keep up

You are a beautiful, smart, and independent woman and may come across as someone leagues ahead of him. He may even feel a bit intimidated by you. This guy could be scared that he might disappoint you eventually, although you like him unconditionally.

6. He is being nice

It’s possible he was never really interested in you the way you thought he was, and maybe he was replying to you out of courtesy. How can you tell if this is the case? Well, if you message him, “What’s up?” and he replies late in the evening the next day, it is a clear sign that he is just being nice to you.

7. He does not want to seem too desperate

He may be totally into you, but must be acting cool so that you do not get a whiff of his excitement. He fears that if he shows too much interest, it might scare you. So, he might reply to your texts but take his own sweet time.

8. He feels overwhelmed by your incessant messages

The idea of getting into a relationship may be making you giddy with excitement. You cannot conceal it, and so you send him texts all day. However, he must be busy following his regular schedule and may not have the time to catch up with your messages, leading you to think he is rude.

9. He feels tired to feed your curiosity

You probably like him a little too much and ask him questions to know him better. But your innocent Q&A sessions make him wary and weary, and so he may be trying to get his much-needed space by disconnecting with you for a while.

10. He is afraid that you are getting too serious

He must have started flirting with you through texts just to have some harmless fun. But seeing you get serious, he has probably chickened out and decided to leave his own game.

11. He is involved with someone else

He could be flirting with multiple women at the same time. He probably has started seeing someone, so he may seem less interested in you and will reduce and eventually stop messaging you.

12. He is afraid of making a boo-boo

Some guys put on a facade to impress women. After a point in time, the facade becomes too difficult to keep up with, and they quit. This guy, too, must have acted cool to fit your criteria of an ideal guy but must have gotten scared that you might eventually catch his bluff, and so he chooses to leave with dignity.

13. He is not that interested in you

The bitterest truth to accept is that this guy is probably not that into you. He must have approached you just to know you better, and now that he does, he probably feels you are not what he was looking for. Well, that’s his loss. The universe got him out of your way so you can meet someone better. Thank your lucky stars.

What To Do When He Doesn’t Text Back?

First things first, stop fretting over the abrupt lack of communication from his side. You may be unable to concentrate on anything else as you keep checking your phone for his message. Try to come to terms with what is happening.

If he hasn’t replied to you for over a couple of hours, maybe he is genuinely busy and will message you when free. In the meantime, do not bombard his inbox with incessant messages hoping for a reaction from him. The more messages you send, the more desperate and needy you may come across to him. And nothing can be a bigger turnoff for a guy than have a needy girl chase after him.

If there is a long gap of more than six hours between your message and his reply, understand that he is probably keeping you hooked while he is exploring other options. In such a case, know that this guy is not for you, and it may be wise to let go of him.

If he takes days to reply or does not reply at all, nothing can be more obvious. He isn’t interested in you.

The fear of rejection can be overwhelming, but texting is not a basis to judge your compatibility as a partner. You may be extremely funny as a person, but your sense of humor may not come out effectively when texting.

1. What are the reasons behind his dry texting?

He might have lost interest in you, could be occupied with something else, or might not be liking texting anymore. If he keeps dry texting you for many days, then understand that he might not be interested in you.

2. What to text him back when he finally texts?

When he finally texts you back after a long time, remember the following points before replying to him:

• Make it clear to him that you do not like being ghosted
• Do not reply to him instantly
• Ask him why he has been ignoring you
• Give him a chance to be sorry for what he did
• Do not entertain him if he keeps the same attitude even after the confrontation.

Instead of having ill feelings about his radio silence, channelize your energy into maintaining your mental peace. Stop obsessing over this guy and focus on other interesting activities. Read the obvious signs, make up your mind, and stay firm on your decision. If he ever texts you back, it’s your call.

• He is not texting you back since he might be busy
• Your incessant messages may have overwhelmed or drained him
• If he isn’t replying, he could have been offended or wished to walk away silently.
• Avoid being desperate and drawing hasty conclusions.

The following two tabs change content below.

Natalie Finegood holds a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology and is an AASECT Certified sex therapist, sex therapy supervisor, and licensed marriage and family therapist. At her private practice in Los Angeles, she offers general psychotherapy and sex therapy services.  Previously, Natalie was a staff clinical associate at the Center for Healthy Sex in West Los Angeles and worked at...
View Profile ›