November 26, 2015
Empathy is defined as understanding what another person is experiencing from their frame of reference. Translating that definition into action requires more than just an understanding. People that are empathic exhibit four basic attributes. A person being empathetic must:
Like all models, the four attributes of people that exhibit empathy are a simplification of human psychology. The four attributes provide a path to becoming more empathetic (even though the devil is in the details). Note to my readers in the United States: Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoy your holiday and have time to reflect on the aspects of your life that make you thankful. Holidays like Thanksgiving are a great time to reflect on the past and plan for the future. Using holidays as a retrospective is one way to develop an understanding of yourself so that you can understand others.
Yesterday at Northpoint, Clay Scroggins delivered a relevant message with key insights about empathy. Empathy is the central key to relationships, especially when there is ‘bad blood.’ Empathy is ‘first aid’ for bad blood. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. – Romans 12:18 A Message 1) Take on their perspective as truth. 2) Suspend your judgement. 3) Recognize their emotion. 4) Communicate that emotion.
What is the best way to be there for someone when they are hurting or experiencing challenging times? How can we comfort them and ease their pain and suffering? In this beautiful short animated video, Dr Brené Brown teases apart the difference between empathy and sympathy and shows us how empathy fuels connection, while sympathy drives disconnection. She also shares the four attributes of empathy and reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are courageous enough to truly get in touch with our own fragilities. The Four Attributes of Empathy Are…
Stories are data with a soul, says Dr Brené Brown. Next time you need to choose how to express what you feel for someone, you might want to reach out for empathy. In this RSA animate short, Brown says empathy fuels connection, while sympathy drives disconnection. Our brains are wired to run from pain—including emotional pain—whether it is ours or someone else's. In the video, Brown says empathy rarely starts with the words, “At least...” and oftentimes, the best response is, “I don't know what to say, but I am really glad you told me.” Often we rush to try and fix a problem for a loved one, yet that is not our job or even within our ability to do. Instead, we should offer a listening, caring ear. This is something most of us can do. And when we feel heard, cared for, and understood, we also feel loved, accepted, that we belong. Brown references nursing scholar Theresa Wiseman's four attributes of empathy:
Empathy is a choice, and “it's a vulnerable choice,” says Brown. We can strengthen empathy with practice. See also empathy and emotions as seen through the eyes of children. |