How long do cats mourn the loss of another cat

Can cats grieve and mourn the loss of a beloved companion? Most feline behavior experts say yes, cats can and do grieve.

While there are famous examples of grief in animals like elephants, whales, and chimpanzees, cats also can experience grief just as intensely.

In this article, we’ll look at what grief looks like in cats and other animals, and how you can help your cat process the loss of a close companion.

What is Animal Grief?

Grief is a complex response to the loss of someone with whom we have formed a close bond. Animals can mourn loss just like humans.

Grief is what’s known as a primary emotion. Primary emotions are basic feelings like fear, anger, happiness, and sadness. Grief falls into the larger sadness category.

In animals, like in humans, grief can take many forms.

Common mourning behaviors in animals include standing guard over a body, refusing to eat, and vocalizations like human crying.

How Can You Tell if a Cat is Grieving?

What does grief look like in cats? Cats are most likely to grieve the loss of a fellow companion cat.

Feline behavior experts outline different stages of cat grief. First, the remaining cat will vocalize, pace, and search. They seem to be actively looking for their lost friend.

In the second stage, cats (especially sensitive ones) will be withdrawn and less active. Some may experience a loss of appetite.

The last stage, like in humans, is acceptance. Cats will show acceptance in different ways. Some may become more attached to you; others may become more friendly and outgoing.

The ASPCA’s Companion Animal Mourning Project, which studied grief in pets, found that after a companion’s death, 70% of cats changed their vocalization habits, 46% ate less than usual, and many slept more and changed their sleeping places.

Researchers have also suggested that a grieving cat can have higher levels of stress hormones, which may lead to excessive grooming and litterbox problems.

Of course, all cats are individuals, so one cat’s grief may look different than another’s. In multi-cat households, one cat may be dominant and another submissive.

Once the dominant cat is gone, the remaining submissive cat might feel happier, calmer, and more confident than before.

How to Help a Grieving Cat

Let’s look at how you can help your cat through the grieving process, starting with one of the most common questions: should you get a new kitten for your remaining cat?

Is Getting a Kitten a Good Idea?

Most feline behavior experts suggest holding off on getting a new kitten right away. It’s a good idea to let your cat have time to process the loss before deciding.

Some cats will miss having a companion while some will be happier alone, especially if they were previously bullied. Your remaining cat’s age can also be a factor. Older cats might not enjoy having a new rambunctious kitten in the home.

It’s better for you and your cat if you resist the urge to get a kitten immediately and let your cat go through a period of grief and adjustment on its terms.

What else can you do to help your cat?

Helping Your Cat Grieve

In the early stages, a cat that deeply mourns the loss of a companion may meow and pace around the house a lot more than usual. This is normal and generally lasts a short time, but it can be distressing for owners to watch.

You can comfort your cat with a little extra affection, like hugs, pets, or brushing. You can also try distracting your cat with play. Experts generally don’t recommend consoling your cat with food or treats, as this may reinforce the unwanted behaviors.

If your cat is exhibiting searching behavior, it’s especially important to keep it inside because you don’t want your cat to wander or get lost. Some cats may withdraw while some may be extra clingy during the grieving process. What can you do to help? A withdrawn cat can benefit from environmental enrichment. Environmental enrichment includes things like new toys or a new cat tree, and even special occasion treats like tuna.

Environmental enrichment can also benefit a cat that becomes overly clingy, as this can help take the attention off you and direct it towards playing and other distractions. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with showing your grieving cat more affection and attention. This can include extra pets and cuddles if your cat is willing.

Even talking to your cat more or just sitting quietly together can be helpful for a cat mourning the loss of a close companion.

Should I Let My Cat See My Other Dead Cat?

Some cat owners wonder if they should let their cats see the other cat’s body to help them grieve. Is this a good idea?

Your cat may have been aware that the other cat was sick or in pain. Some cats will show signs of this, others won’t. The jury is out on whether a cat understands death in a way that makes showing a body meaningful.

There’s no real evidence that seeing the other cat after it has died will help in the grieving process. It may help, but it’s also likely that cats will not understand what they’re seeing. Keep in mind that it may be upsetting to you if your cat reacts negatively to the sight or smell of the deceased cat.

Can Cats Feel Your Sadness?

We’ve seen that there’s plenty of evidence that cats can grieve the loss of their companions. But of course, you’ll be grieving the loss of the other pet too. Will your cat be able to sense the grief that you are feeling?

Most cat owners will tell you that yes, their cats can tell when they are sad. Scientific research suggests that cats can sense and respond to human emotions, especially primary emotions like happiness and sadness.

Cats pick up on cues like human facial expressions and tone of voice. They can become stressed by our negative emotions like sadness and anger, while our positive emotions like happiness cause less stress.

The death of a beloved family pet is a difficult time for all the people and pets in the household. Chances are, you will recognize your cat’s grief and your cat will sense yours. With time and patience, you and your cat can go through the grieving process together and strengthen your bond with each other.

Featured Image Credit: 9lnw, Shutterstock

Yes, cats do experience grief at the loss of a another household pet, especially if they had a close-knit bond. Cats are individuals, and just like humans, their process for coping with loss will vary. Pay attention and keep an eye-out for behavioral changes. Some cats might retreat, hide, start eating less, or become clingy. Other cats might act out or misbehave (pee outside litter box, knock things over, become more or less vocal). If your cat is acting out, the actual behavior will give you insight to what he/she needs. Below, is some additional advice for cats in mourning.

• The best thing you can do is help your cat move forward. In general, animals are better at moving forward and pushing through loss than humans. Below, are tips that will help guide your cat through the mourning process.
• Help fill the void of the cat that passed away. Initiate play and make extra time for dedicated activity.
• Stick to their routine. As much as possible, help them stick to their regular activities, eating, and sleeping habits.
• Give your cat extra attention and loving care. Do things that provide a sense of comfort and ease whether that’s in the form of petting, talking, playing, or snuggling with your cat.

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Pet loss and grief can be difficult and heartbreaking for people, but it can be an even greater challenge to help the surviving pets deal with pet loss. Cats do, indeed, grieve.

They cannot tell us how they feel. And the owners in the family may overlook behavior changes while dealing with their own sense of loss. Not every pet will react at all, while a percentage seems to suffer greatly. When pets grieve, they usually show their sense of loss with behavior changes. In fact, separation anxiety is one form of grief--your cat only understands someone she loves is gone.

The surviving pets often begin to act differently when their companion cat or dog first becomes sick or starts to decline. For people, this can be a time of preparation, and some of our grieving may be done well in advance of the pet’s actual death. Dr. Barbara Kitchell, a veterinary cancer specialist, says that grief counseling often is part of what caring veterinarians naturally do.

We can’t know if surviving pets realize their companion animal friends will soon die, but they certainly do act as though aware a change has--or will--occur. In fact, many sensitive cats (and dogs) react to their owners’ emotional upset and grieve in response to our own changes of behavior over the heartache.

The surviving pet may seem withdrawn and depressed. Often their personality changes and a shy cat could become more demanding of attention, while a demanding cat instead hides.

One of the most heartbreaking situations occurs when the surviving pet cries and looks everywhere for the missing loved one. This futile, heartbreaking search can go on for weeks.

Although it sounds macabre, sometimes it may be helpful to allow the surviving pet to say “goodbye” to the body after a furry friend has died. They may sniff and examine the body, cry or ignore it all together--and any reaction should be considered normal. That’s the only way we can explain to them what has happened to their friend, and why a beloved cat- or dog-friend has disappeared from their life. Viewing the friend's body allows them a chance to understand he's not coming back. They still grieve but hopefully aren't driven to look for their missing buddy.

People go through several stages of grief--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance--but not necessarily in this order. While anthropomorphic to think pets might “bargain” (I’ll let you have my catnip toy if only you come back!) it’s certainly within the realm of possibility that they might feel anger or depression over the loss. Pets do in fact seem to finally work through the situation to acceptance--it takes some pets much longer than others just as people get over a loss in different time frames.

Many of the same things we do for each other can help our pets. Dr. Wallace Sife, a psychologist, and author of “The Loss of a Pet” says to allow the grieving and even validate it with each other by simply offering compassion and support.

How do you help your pets manage grief? Simply being with them for extra one-on-one time can help.

• Talk to them: Try to be positive around your grieving pets. They may not understand the words but will pick up on your emotions. Simply say, I’m sad, and I feel awful, but it’s not your fault--and I know you feel awful, too. You’ll want to avoid babying, though, because that can reward the pet for acting depressed.
• Play music, particularly uplifting, faster tempos to lift depression: Harp music can have a soothing effect. But any music that your pet associates with positive times could be helpful.
• Use antidepressants: The herb St. John’s Wort can as a natural antidepressant for some conditions in people. Since it can affect the excretion of other drugs and must be dosed according to body weight, consult your veterinarian for advice on its use. If the depression doesn’t lift and lasts too long, your veterinarian may be able to prescribe a stronger antidepressant drug.

Give your cat the gift of time to grieve. It hurts terribly--for you as well as your surviving pet. Still, the capacity to grieve honors the memory of the departed, and is a measure of the depth of our love. And that truly is a legacy to celebrate.