When a guy looks shocked to see you

There are probably not many guys that can say they haven’t stared at a girl before, and you can say the same for ladies as well. However, if that lady has ever been you, and looked directly at your face for more than 5 seconds before looking away, chances are, you thought deeply about what they were thinking when staring.  

If there was no viable reason for the guy to stare, you probably thought something was wrong with your appearance. 

Even so, if you had an extremely attractive outfit on, you guessed that the guy was checking you out. Somewhere in the middle, on some days, you simply couldn’t tell what they were thinking. 

Amazingly, this happens to almost every lady, there’s no telling what a guy is thinking when you catch them staring. On the bright side, this article narrows down nine of the possible things going through the mind of a guy that’s staring at you.

9 Things A Guy Could Be Thinking When He Stares At You 

1. He’s attracted to you

A probable reason why a guy would be staring at a woman is that he finds her attractive. According to studies, men have the natural urge to feast their eyes on beautiful subjects, which means there’s a deep craving to satisfy their eyes by staring. What might be baffling to women is why guys would stare, and seemingly can’t approach the woman they’re staring at. 

The truth is, not all men find it easy to approach an extremely attractive woman, the reason why they might be staring is that they are summoning up the courage to actually talk to you. 

In many cases, this doesn’t happen, and it leaves plenty of room for unanswered questions. Some men may even find it exceedingly hard just to make comments about how good you look, and would prefer to hide behind the action of staring at you from afar. 

This means that the next time it feels weird that a guy is staring at you, acknowledge the fact that you’re simply an attractive woman.

2. He clearly likes you

Apart from being attractive, another reason why men would be staring at you is that they actually like you. They like your hair, body, smile, charisma, and more, and the most practical way people view their crushes is from afar. This means that if you’re at your workplace, or at a particular event, and there’s always one guy that makes eye contact with you, there’s a probability that this guy has a crush on you. 

Synonymously, as mentioned before, the only reason why he hasn’t approached or said anything is that he doesn’t have the courage to do it. Studies have shown that when an individual likes someone, they look at them as way more attractive than the person would see himself. More so, they tend to see their crush as this perfect personality, overlooking almost all their flaws. 

With this in mind, it would be entirely nerve-racking for this guy to try to talk to you because he thinks you’re perfect. 

3. He’s wondering why other guys like you

If you’re a woman in the midst of men, something you’re probably not aware of is the fact that other guys are talking and crushing over you. This is one possibility that women overlook, perhaps no one has shown any keen interest in you before, so you wonder why guys would be talking about you in admiration. 

Nonetheless, just in the same way women chitchat about men they admire, in like manner, men also indulge in this action. 

This means that the likely reason why a random guy seems to be staring at you is that he wants to make sure something spoken about you by a guy friend is indeed true. He might be looking at your eyes, face, or at any other distinct feature, in order to evaluate everything said about you. 

Two different people may not think alike, so if a group of friends or colleagues have said something about you, this guy might just be staring to see if what they said is true. 

He might even make deep eye contact or try to analyze your body language to see the type of personality you have. All these are signs of a person trying to check you out or confirm what others have said about you because he knows he probably shouldn’t be staring so much, he would also be forced to look away when you find him staring.

4. He wants your attention

One common tactic that guys use on women, is trying to make deep eye contact with them in order to woo them. This would send a message of attraction, and hopefully, the woman might respond in a positive way.

This means that when a guy is looking directly into your eyes and staring intensely, he might have hopes that the two of you make a connection. 

Though this might come off as weird, in most cases, it works with women, in cases where they find the guy exceedingly charming or attractive, a conversation might even start up from there.

According to studies, the process of a guy staring profusely is a mind game, he might have one or two reasons why he wants to get your attention, but instead of walking up to you, they make daring eye contact, and let their gaze settle on your face long enough to spark curiosity. 

Women feel a lot of pressure when a guy is staring, especially when he’s reluctant to look away, this pressure then sponsors a lot of attention towards the guy, which makes it quite easy for him to make his move. This means that when next you find a guy making efforts to fix his eyes on you in an intense manner, understand that he might be trying to get your attention.

5. He wants to make you uncomfortable

The awful reality of guys staring intensely at women is the fact that they know it’s highly uncomfortable. Yet, a guy would keep his gaze locked on the lady,  and choose not to look away. The real reason why guys would want to make women uncomfortable is seemingly unknown, and most times are based on the personality of the individual himself. 

Not all guys are as mature as they seem, though the idea of making a person uncomfortable is quite baffling, it’s a prominent thing that’s why guys engage in it. Psychological notions may indicate the need for men to show dominance in some situations, which he can dutifully accomplish by making you uncomfortable. 

It could also be a way to have fun, peradventure he has nothing else to do at the moment. Nonetheless, if you ever find yourself in a situation where a person is making intense eye contact with you, and it’s terribly uncomfortable, the best thing to do is to keep your mind at ease and ignore the person. This will in turn make it harder for the person to get you uncomfortable.

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to? This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.

It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.

If you’re overthinking it, looking for signs he’s secretly attracted to you, let me tell you something that might surprise you:

Men are usually an open book when it comes to showing their attraction to women.

If we want a woman, we’re not very good at hiding it. You, on the other hand, are completely poker-faced when it comes to hiding your attraction to men!

What gives? Why the major difference?

The fact is: attraction is different for men than for women. There’s a saying:

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.

Men communicate their attraction through their eyes. If you’ve ever seen a man look you up and down in a bar with a smile on his face, c’mon. You knew he was into you.

Women, on the other hand, are attracted to men through their ears, meaning that it’s what they hear more than what they see that draws them to a man.

But regardless of what causes that initial attraction, some guys can be pretty good at hiding it, leaving you to wonder if he’s actually showing signs he’s secretly attracted to you…or he’s really just not that into you.

In this video and article, I’m going to give you some definite signs that he’s attracted to you, even if he’s trying to keep it a secret.

Your Coach,

Introduction

You’ve been spending some time with a particular gentleman a lot lately…

Maybe you work with him and are harboring a little workplace crush…

Maybe he’s part of your friend circle and you’re seriously thinking about upgrading his status…

Or maybe he’s the personal trainer at your gym and you’re checking him out more than you are your heart rate.

Whoever this guy is, you think he might be into you, but you don’t want to put yourself out there and make a fool of yourself if he’s not. So you find yourself looking for signs he’s secretly attracted to you so that you can be a little bolder and maybe make that first move.

I’m a guy — plus I used to coach hundreds of men on how to talk to Sexy Confident ladies like you — so I know a thing or two about those clues he may be exhibiting that you might not even be aware of. So let’s dive into some signs he’s secretly attracted to you so that you can plan your next move.

1. He Gets Nervous In Your Company

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When I coached men on how to approach women they were attracted to, I would take them to a bar or a park and give them pointers on how to introduce themselves to a woman. One of the first things I’d notice was how nervous they were.

They’d shake.

They couldn’t make eye contact.

They’d sweat profusely.

I don’t think women ever realize how completely intimidating it is for a man to approach them. He worries you’ll reject him or laugh at him. Now, I know you wouldn’t, but he has that in his head. So cut him some slack.

If this guy is fidgety around you (and no one else), that’s a pretty good sign he’s secretly attracted to you. Reassure him that you’re interested too with a nice flirty smile or a hand on his arm.

2. He Smiles and Opens His Body Language

Let’s say a guy who likes you sees you for the first time in a week. As soon as he sees you, he gets this major grin on his face and gives you a big hug.

Let me break it down for you scientifically.

When he sees you, neuronal signals travel from the cortex of your brain to the brain stem (the oldest part of our brains). From there, the cranial muscle carries the signal further towards the smiling muscles in his face. Once he smiles at the sight of you, there is a positive feedback loop that now goes back to his brain and reinforces his feeling of joy.

So him associating you with joy? Another sign he’s secretly attracted to you.

His body language will also communicate his interest. Rather than crossing his arms or turning away from you (which communicates the very opposite), he will face toward you and even lean in when you talk (it’s especially cute if you’re short and he’s tall and does this!).

3. He’s Mean to You or Teases You

If he teases you, tease him back!

Okay…this one makes no sense, but it’s absolutely one of the signs he’s secretly attracted to you.

Some guys have what I call “middle school game:” when they like a girl, they’re really mean to her. Just like they did back in middle school…maybe minus him tripping you or pulling your pigtails!

Some guys are just so nervous that they default to what once worked for them a million years ago: teasing a woman or being a little mean.

But instead of you running and crying in the bathroom, knowing that this actually means he likes you should help you be a little confident, and maybe get you to tease him back.

4. You Get the Feeling He’s Into You

I’m always telling you Sexy Confident women to trust your gut. If you get the feeling that he’s attracted to you, don’t let your brain overthink it and convince your gut otherwise.

Your brain has a nasty habit of pooh-poohing anything your gut tries to tell it.

Gut: Hey that guy keeps checking us out! I think he likes us! Did he just wink??

Brain: He didn’t wink, dummy. He had something in his eye. He’s probably married.

There’s a reason scientists call the gut The Second Brain: it has an eerie ability to “know” things that sometimes your brain gets wrong. So give it a try. The next time you think a guy is showing signs he’s secretly attracted to you, find out and see if your gut was right.

5. He Works On Appearing Well-Groomed

If this man is someone you’ve spent time with platonically, pay attention to whether he seems to be putting in extra effort these days into his appearance.

Maybe his torn and ancient cargo shorts have been replaced by a pair of khaki pants?

Maybe he always seems to be freshly sprayed with cologne when you see him?

Perhaps he always seems like he just stepped out of the shower, when you used to tease him about how rarely he showered?

Any change in his appearance for the better may indicate that he’s trying to subtly get your attention. Make sure you praise his efforts…and put in your own. Shopping time!

6. He Has A Helpful Attitude Towards You

Is he going out of his way to be helpful? He’s definitely interested!

Men are natural providers. When we are attracted to a woman, we want to help her however we can.

He might offer you a ride when your car’s in the shop…

He might help with that TPS report you’ve been stressing about at work…

He might bring you chicken noodle soup when you’re sick.

Realize that the average dude is not going to put this effort into helping a female friend. If he’s going above and beyond, he wants to provide value to you, the same way cavemen wanted to get the approval of their caveladies when they brought home a nice juicy dinosaur steak!

7. He’s Constantly “Fixing” Himself

Back when I was single, and even when I first started dating Jessica, I would kind of groom my facial hair around my mouth with my hands. Not a sexy look, I know now! But I was so nervous that it was a kind of tic.

Men don’t even realize that they’re doing this. They may run their fingers through their hair (wishing they were running them through your hair). Or comb their beards with their fingers (hoping there are no crumbs lingering!). However he’s grooming himself, he’s trying to make sure that he’s looking his best in front of a lady he is absolutely smitten with.

You do it too, before you judge! How many women have I seen in bars sit across from a man and toss their hair or twirl it around their fingers? Countless. And that’s okay.

Conclusion: So You See The Signs He’s Secretly Attracted to You…

Now what??

Well, I’m a grab-the-bull-by-the-horns kind of guy when it comes to encouraging you ladies to make the first move. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that this guy isn’t super proactive when it comes to moving things to the next level if you’re having to research and assess whether he’s showing signs he’s secretly attracted to you. So if you want to make things happen, you may need to take matters into your own hands.

Whenever he shows one of these signs, give him positive reinforcement. Compliment his new shirt. Thank him for running an errand for you. Smile back.

If he’s still not moving fast enough for you, then be brave and ask him out. What have you got to lose? We can safely ascertain that he’s into you…he just may be too shy to make that first move. And you know he’s attracted to you, but he doesn’t know you’re attracted to him.  So things are a little one-sided. He’ll get the picture quickly if you ask him out for a picnic or drinks.

So talk to me. What signs he’s secretly attracted to you are you currently seeing? Do you have any doubts that this guy is into you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.