I live uncomfortably post-eating disorder in fear that I might’ve done some irreparable harm to my body over the years of violently making myself sick multiple times a day, so I have as a result avoided going to seek medical advice on those potential lasting effects to my physical health – but in truth, I know in my heart that you can’t be a professional bulimic for half a decade and not have caused some damage.
Eve has been nudging me to go to my GP about some ear problems I’ve been experiencing for a while, where my ears will pop (the way they might on a plane) for days at a time, and I am convinced that this is probably due to the enormous pressure wretching puts on your ears. The thought of having vandalised my own body is a difficult thing for me to face up to, as it a) confirms that all those years of pain actually did happen and b) that I’m going to be stuck with a reminder of my eating disorder each time I smile through my off-white teeth.
I’m aware that rinsing my mouth out with my own stomach bile repeatedly has painted my teeth a beautiful canary-yellow colour because my four front teeth are crowns (I broke them as a young bean when my little brother tripped me up while lying down pretending to be dead on our garage floor and I piled over him forgetting to put my arms out and smashing my face on the concrete…but that’s a story for a different day.) and in comparison to my natural teeth, these have remained relatively white, the contrast detailing the destruction of my bulimia.
I’m also aware that compulsively making yourself sick has probably had other detrimental effects on my physical health that I need to deal with in time, but having only just finally been able to tackle the mental health beast living within my eating disorder, I think I’m almost ready to make some bodily progress – teeth first.
I spoke to one of my good friends from back home who was sensible enough to get a proper job as a dentist – not a fluffy writing one – and asked her what happens to your teeth when you make yourself sick, so she pointed me in the direction of the Colgate website, which reads: “Frequent vomiting may cause your salivary glands to swell and the tissues of your mouth and tongue to become dry, red and sore. People with bulimia may have chronic sore throat and small haemorrhages under the skin of the palate.
“Frequent vomiting can erode your tooth enamel, especially on the tongue side of the upper front teeth. This sharply increases the risk for decay in these areas and can make these teeth sensitive to temperature. Severe erosion can lead to changes in your bite, or the way your upper and lower teeth come together. Your back teeth can be reduced in size and some teeth can even be lost eventually. Tooth erosion can take about three years to become obvious, but not all bulimics experience it.”
Consulting a dentist during my time as a bulimic was never something I thought to be necessary, but it absolutely makes sense after reading the above. During bulimia recovery, it’s unusual for you to stop making yourself sick cold turkey – I know, it took me a while – so Colgate advises: “To minimise damage done by stomach acid during episodes of vomiting, rinse your mouth with baking soda mixed in water. You also should rinse with a mouthwash containing .05 percent fluoride, which your dentist can prescribe. Don’t brush your teeth immediately after vomiting because stomach acid weakens tooth enamel and brushing can cause erosion of the enamel. When you do brush, use a toothpaste that contains fluoride. Fluoride helps strengthen teeth.” But please, make sure you go to your own dentist first and foremost for advise – and if possible, an eating disorder professional too.
Once your bulimia is under control, you may need to have some of your teeth restored if damage has been done. Colgate says that if the enamel loss is stopped at an early stage, it can be replaced using materials called composite resin or amalgam. More severe erosion will require tooth extraction. Lost teeth can be replaced with bridges or implants.
As I write this piece, I can feel my stomach tighten and my teeth become more sensitive, almost curling in my mouth. It’s all well and good preaching to Not Plant Based readers that this is what happens to your teeth during bulimia blah blah and telling people to seek advice from their own doctors blah, but isn’t that hugely hypocritical of me? It’s probably about time I confessed to my own dentist about my past in order to face up to the harm I might’ve done to my teeth. I’ll keep you updated on that…maybe I’ll do a follow up on my own appointment…
As for my vanity, I could always get my teeth professionally whitened when/if I have the money to do so, and I’m absolutely not against that idea of that in the future. For now, my life is about trying to face my problems and my past head on without crumpling into a whimpering heap each time I remember that I’ve failed – bulimia, for me, is something I still consider to be a huge failure in my life, rightly or wrongly. But as J K Rowling once famously said: “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”
I’m trying to accept that my discoloured teeth aren’t necessarily a display of my failings, but are trophies representing what I have been able to overcome, and that is seven years of mental illness. If that isn’t something to flash a non-Hollywood smile about, I don’t know what is.
Next stop after the dentist…the ear doctor.
A life of bingeing and purging
Bulimia is an eating disorder in which people binge-eat large amounts of food. Then they purge — throw up, fast, or engage in some other “purging” behavior such as using laxatives or exercising to excess — in an attempt to rid their bodies of all the extra calories.
Constant cycles of bingeing and purging are hard on the heart, kidneys, and other organs. But bulimia can be especially damaging to the teeth.
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Repeated vomiting can cause serious damage to the teeth. Vomit is especially toxic because it contains stomach acids. These acids break down food in your stomach so your body can digest it.
But in the mouth, these acids are corrosive, enough to wear away at the enamel that covers and protects your teeth. Brushing your teeth too hard after you vomit can also contribute to tooth decay.
Cavities
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The acids from frequent vomiting can wear away so much tooth enamel that they leave a hole, or cavity. Bingeing on sugary foods and sodas can also contribute to tooth decay.
When you have dental decay, you may notice that your gums bleed when you brush them. If you don’t get a cavity filled, the hole will eventually become so big that you can lose the tooth.
Yellow, brittle teeth
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As the erosion gets worse, you may also notice the color and texture of your teeth change. Your teeth may be weaker and more brittle than usual.
They can chip easily and may look ragged at the bottom. Sometimes they’ll turn a yellowish color or take on a glassy appearance. Bulimia can also change the shape and length of your teeth.
Swollen salivary glands
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The acids in vomit can irritate the glands on the sides of each cheek. These glands produce saliva, the fluid that helps you swallow. It also protects your teeth against decay. You’ll notice a swelling around your jaw if your salivary glands are affected.
Although most changes in your teeth from bulimia aren’t reversible, salivary gland swelling should go down once you get treated and stop bingeing and purging.
Mouth sores
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Just as stomach acid wears away at the enamel on your teeth, it can also wear away at the skin on the roof and sides of your mouth. It can also damage your throat.
This can leave painful sores inside your mouth and throat. The sores can swell up and even become infected. Some people feel like they have a constant sore throat.
Dry mouth
A lack of saliva can also lead to the constant feeling that your mouth is parched. Also known as dry mouth, this condition is more than just a minor annoyance. It can affect the way you eat by changing the flavor of food.
Dry mouth can also damage the teeth because saliva washes the away bacteria that cause tooth decay. Having dry mouth can make existing tooth decay from bulimia even worse.
Pain
As your tooth enamel wears away, it leaves the sensitive inner part of your teeth exposed. You may start to notice that your teeth hurt.
Some people have pain and sensitivity whenever they eat hot or cold food. They may feel discomfort when they bite into an ice cream cone or eat something hot such as soup.
Damage to your gums and soft palate can cause additional pain when chewing or swallowing.
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In addition to causing internal harm, bulimia can have damaging long-term, visible effects on the body. The teeth and mouth are at high risk for infection and decay, which can be painful and unsightly.
If you or someone you know suffers from bulimia, seeking help is the first step in preventing irreparable damage to your teeth and body.